Monday 22 October 2012

An Insider's Guide To The Players by The Game Master

Hello again dear readers,

Your pal The Master here. We're still hard at work getting episode one in the can, but I've had a lot of people ask me-- "How come the players wrote up their own biographies and you just got some rinky-dink Wikipedia stub?"

     I was flattered and touched by the outpouring of interest and attention. Of course, they did offer me a chance to tell my own story in my own words-- to share my triumphant tale with the world and set the record straight on a few ugly rumors (The Titanic? I don't like boats. Pompeii? Never been there. And as for Garden of Eden? Sorry, I'm an Atheist.) A tempting offer. But it occurred to me that at the end of the day, I'm just a man like any other with a huge house, a hot tub filled with Evian, and a deal with a major TV network-- and who wants to read about that?

     So instead, here's a little "inside dirt" on our players from my unique perspective-- just remember: you didn't hear it from me!

AMY PEALE AKA "DESTINY STARR"

As famous for playing a spoiled little brat in the tabloids as she was on TV, Amy-- but no, excuse me, "Destiny"-- hasn't had a job in years, but still goes by the same silly name she did when she was 12 just to squeeze an extra drop of attention from people. It usually doesn't last; people find out quickly that lurking just beneath the sunny exterior is a selfish, spoiled little brat who's a nightmare to work with... Perfect for our purposes...

JESSICA SMITH
Hmm... Let's just say that "Jessica" isn't as clever as she thinks she is...

MARGRET STERN
Margret talks a  good game, and she's carved out a nice niche for herself. She also a shameless self promoter who's more interested in selling books and promoting seminars than the plight of her fellow women. She never misses an opportunity to talk about herself an sell her cheesy wears on TV-- so much so that she even signed up for this show without knowing anything about it. Of course it's not all about self promotion... she's also here to dig up dirt for a new book dedicated to exposing our little competition. My prediction-- Maggie's going to be the one who winds up getting exposed...

ALICE LIPTON
 Alice was known as a spoiled, scheming rich girl at private school, and very little has changed since then. The embodiment of a greedy, manipulative corporate shill, Alice's fellow players would do well to steer clear of her inevitable attempts at conning the games and Myself... in The Humble Games, the house never looses and cheaters are punished severely. Besides, Alice is the kind of leader who will cheerfully push anyone who follows her under the bus to save her own skin.
BRITTANY PHILLIPS
Brittany may seem like she's out of her depth against some of these sharks, but I say you don't spend as much time working with kids as she has without learning a thing or two about selfishness, betrayal, and manipulation-- key tools for any reality TV contestant.

3 comments:

  1. Loving this more and more as I read it. Can't wait to start this and see how it unfolds. Any news on a start date?

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  2. I think I'll be regretting my earlier comments of who I was going to root for.

    The Master's personality has been entertaining so far and should hopefully make for a great presence in this show.

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  3. Ooooh more fun stuff! :)

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